The severed end of a TRRS headset cable.
Well, that trick did work for the Samsung Galaxy Note 2 I had handy, and it may work for other Android devices as well. It did not, however, work with my iPhone.
It turns out that Apple hardware requires a specific resistance in the headphone components in order for the device to sanction the connected headset. By cutting out the mic from the cable (as well as the surrounding circuit board of tiny resistors and diodes), I stripped out the very thing I needed for the trick to work. My iPhone knew I was up to no good and it resorted to using its internal microphone instead.
Not one to give up easily, I tried a number of different TRRS jack adapters, such as the weird USB charging adapter from the iPod Shuffle, and even a VGA A/V cord. No dice.
Finally, I hit on a solution. I have at my desk a guitar cable adapter made for iOS devices called AmpliTube iRig. The adapter runs around $40 new and comes with a great app for playing and recording your guitar. But assuming you're just using this to disable your iPhone's internal mic,inexpensive alternatives can be found for around $10 (though I make no guarantees on their compatibility). Just plug it into your headphone jack and leave the instrument input empty, and you've got an iPhone, iPod Touch, or iPad with a bypassed microphone, capable of creating silent videos for Instagram or Vine.
Convenient? Not really. But until either company sees fit to include a simple microphone mute button (if they ever come to their senses) at least this is a workable solution for silent video purists.
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